I'm so popular!

OMG! I am so popular! I just surpassed the 500 view milestone. And no, it's not from me looking at my own blog. I blocked myself from tampering with the numbers. This isn't Enron. There is no creative accounting going on with my statistics, although I do have a feeling that a certain boyfriend may be stalking me on here a little more than necessary, so we'll have to have a talk with him about how his performance is negatively affecting the conglomerate that is the typical gay guy.

So much pressure now to keep you coming back! I feel like the past week has been a bit uneventful, mostly because I have been sitting on my ass most of the week. There are two main reasons for that. One is that I recently got a new tattoo that has taken longer than expected to heal properly, so I haven't been able to work out as much as I would have liked. Or maybe I'm just passive agressively using the tattoo as the reason for my lazy ass not exercising. The other reason is that I have not had my Zippy with me lately as he is visiting his Grandma and Papou so that I would have more time to focus on my job hunt. Papou is Greek for grandfather and my dog understands that Papou is my father. Yes, my dog is bilingual. 

With all this free time, all I've been doing is putting an indentation in one of couch cushions with my large ass and then periodically visiting my boyfriend in DC more often than usual. Lots of exciting things are coming up in the next weeks though. I have two therapy sessions, one with my crazy boyfriend and one for my crazy ass. Tomorrow I am volunteering at a wine event featuring 250 different samples within a four hour period and Monday I am off to New York for a job interview with a wine importer. So the next weeks should be eventful for all my many fans. I just blocked my boyfriend's browser from affecting my statistics, so if I don't get to 1000 views in the same time as I did 500 views, I may cry a little bit. So to prevent that from happening, please tell your friends how super awesome I am and check me out. Until next time... TGG.

Meet the parents!

I just had an amazing dinner with my boyfriend for my birthday! What better way to spend my birthday weekend than to meet part of my boyfriend's family for the first time?  

Although I would have liked for the above statement to be going through BF's mind, I'm sure this was not the case when we drove to Philly for an extended family outing, where BF met not only my parents, but my brother and sister, their respective partners and their children as well as my sister-in-law's parents, neighbors and even her grandfather. Without an advanced Excel spreadsheet, it's pretty confusing, so let me try to give you a brief downplay of who was there.

BF met my mother and father in Baltimore where we drove up together in my dad's Mercedes. My father will drive 10 miles out of his way to save a dime a gallon on gasoline, but at age 70, he decided to buy an E-series outright. My father insisted upon driving. My mother and I insisted on yelling at him while he drove like a crazy old man. We drove to Philly to see my brother and his new wife and her two kids. Meanwhile, my sister and her husband and her two kids drove up separately. Additionally, my sister-in-law's parents were there, as was her grandfather and later on, her neighbors. I wished I had met the neighbors earlier because they seemed like fun folk, regularly enjoying a box of wine and going dancing once a month to keep the relationship young. I have no idea how old they were, but they were easily in their sixties if not older. The more I think about it, I think a PowerPoint slide would be more useful than an Excel spreadsheet, but clearly this is the MBA education in me overtaking my mind. Why don't you just look at the picture and try to guess who is who. The main point is that after his birthday, BF had to meet 15 strangers and there were rumors that it would be a dry party. AWKWARD!

Shortly after our arrival and a lot of awkward introductions, Simona, my sister-in-law, asked if anyone would like anything to drink. I asked what was available, hoping wine would be an option. Thankfully it was and I didn't feel like a raging alcoholic drinking it since other people besides my immediate family were partaking as well. I must admit that I was not happy with the wine glass selection. They were old school Waterford Crystal type glasses like my parents used to have. Essentially they were the wine glasses for people that don't drink wine. I mean, look at those glasses in the picture above. You can barely see them! And guess what, the 3oz of wine that they hold at a time is simply unacceptable! I personally prefer my Riedel Stemless Pinot Noir glasses because 1.) They hold close to an entire bottle of wine in one glass if you aren't a swirler like myself and 2.) They are dishwasher safe and 3.)They have no stem so they don't break when you put them in the dishwasher and 4.)They sometimes land flat on your couch when you accidentally push them off your counter. (So I've been told. Not that it is happened to me before)


The highlight of the night had to be when, after playing with my nieces for over a good hour, BF decides to take a break and join the adults downstairs. My nieces were not happy that BF had left them so they both decided to come downstairs, one dressed as a Wal-Mart executive and the other as an Indian princess. My younger niece, Cilia, interrupted the grownups to declare that she was looking for Sean. Yes, boys and girls, you finally get to find out BF's real name and please be prepared to accept that I may from this day forward sometimes refer to him using his actual name. It's crazy I know. But anyways, she was wearing big adult sized black framed glasses and was holding a clipboard. Cilia decided to announce in front of all of us that she was from the car insurance division of Wal-Mart and that Sean's policy was overdue. She is only eight years old and it was SO random. On the ride home, I later discovered that while Sean and Cilia were hanging out alone, Lady Gaga somehow became the topic and these were the exact words from Cilia...

 "You know, Lady Gaga doesn't even really have her own look. She just keeps changing outfits."

That girl is going to make some gay boy a fabulous fag hag when she gets older. Until next time... TGG.

BF's Birthday!

Sorry for the late post, but wanted to tell you about BF's birthday. My sexy, smart boyfriend turned 29 this past Friday. He was never big on birthdays for some strange reason, while I believe the Earth literally changes it's rotational pattern once a year to revolve around me on my birthday.

So Friday, I picked BF up from the train station and he was still dressed in his suit he wore to work and I made a feeble attempt to dress up as well. Well, my clothes were tighter, so therefore more fashionable in my mind. And although BF arrived early from the train station, we decided to go to the restaurant early and have a drink at the bar. Once I finally found the place, I valet parked my car in the garage (for free!) and was ready to have a wonderful dinner. As soon as we arrived at the Prime Rib, the door was opened up for us by this obviously gay host dressed in a tuxedo. When he opened the door, he said "welcome" and I was so nervous from never being in such a nice restaurant that I said "welcome" back to him like a retard. 

So we had a seat at the bar where I ordered a Hendricks martini and BF had a Stoli martini with blue cheese stuffed olives. I knew we were at a swanky bar when they had blue cheese stuffed olives already prepared and gave us no attitude when we asked for them as most traditional establishments do. The Mad Men style decor, with dark hard wood and leather, in addition to a jazz trio playing music during our meal, only added to the upscale ambiance. And the cool ass cocktail napkins (see picture) were the bomb!

I decided to take my boyfriend to this super swanky establishment because 1.) He's worth it and 2.) I had a Groupon for the place. While we were sitting on the bar, I decided that I had to log onto Foursquare to gloat about how I was eating at this amazing place and to show a picture of the awesome napkins. When I checked in, I saw that there was a special for two free glasses of wine and a free appetizer with any dinner reservation. I had a coupon on top of a coupon, I was in Jew heaven. (Now only if I were Jewish...)


When we sat down to dinner, we were greeted by our server who clearly had been working there since the dawn of time. At first I was not too excited about being waited on by a senior citizen while I was taking my boyfriend out to dinner for his birthday, additionally having to explain to our waiter, Chuck, about this coupon I had from this newfangled thing called the internet. Once he confirmed with someone under the age of prehistoric, he was ready to go with our freebies. I ended up ordering soft shell crabs and BF had the blackened Chilean Sea Bass. Yes, we went to a top tier steak house and never ate steak. 

As a native Marylander, it was very odd at my age to have never eaten soft shell crabs, but they were amazing. By the way, I am very aware that I use the word amazing way too often, but deal with it. For those of you unfamiliar, crabs allegedly shed their shell as they grow or something and you only have a few hours before they regrow their shell. The benefit of soft shell crabs is that you can eat them whole opposed to an incredibly laborious process for eating hard shell crabs. For more info about soft shell crabs, click here. I can't be bothered to give you an aquaculture lesson. It'll get in the way of my wine drinking time.


Well our prehistoric waiter turned out to be amazing! (You should have known that was the word I was going to use to describe him) Very attentive, truly a pleasure to talk to and even brought out a free dessert for BF, although I ate most of the dessert since BF hissed at the sight of carbs like a feral cat. We ended our meal and then went home where I had a cornucopia of presents awaiting for BF. As I am lazy with the wrapping process, I put all of his presents in a large, glittery Disney Princess gift bag and stuck some tissue paper on the top. I ended up getting him a variety of presents, well seven to be exact. Damn you Amazon and your two day shipping! FYI, if you are a student or still have access to your student email address, .edu only, you can get a free one year subscription to Amazon prime and it's highly addictive. Anyways, I won't go through all of the presents, but one of the ones he liked the best was the copy of Bridesmaids, which is the movie we saw on our first gaydate. The other present he was super excited about was the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System, but in the spirit of keeping this blog somewhat family friendly, we won't go into how much he liked that gift. At least not for now. Until next time... TGG.

Damn you Katy Perry!

Don't worry Katy, I really do love you. So much so that you physically caused me harm. In my attempt to tire my dog out and get back my six pack, I decided to turn my regular leisurely dog walk through the park with a semi intensive exercise session. So I whipped out the Sony mp3 player (no, I do not own an Ipod), put on my running shoes, put on Zippy's special walking collar and was ready to go.

Zippy is extremely high strung, so he is sometimes annoyed with a leisurely jog and easily keeps up with me when I sprint at full pace. So in hopes of conditioning myself back to where I used to be, which was able to play an entire 80 minute game of rugby, I decided to walk for a bit and then randomly start sprinting. I was feeling good and looking good and then I traveled into the woods, where there is this stone path that circles through the woods. It's a very twisty path, so I imagined myself weaving in and out of angry rugby players coming after me as I sashayed (very manly sashaying of course) through this crowd of imaginary men. There was even a small bridge that had been shut off with caution tape from damage due to Hurricane Irene, and I decided to use the tape as a running hurdle instead of as an actual warning. 

So I'm almost out of the woods (no pun intended) and the pathway starts to incline, so I figured this would be a perfect time to sprint. Katy Perry was blaring on my headphones and I was in the zone. I even trusted Zippy to walk off leash since I was so confident he wouldn't be able to run from me. Lest I forgot about the slightly mossy film that covers the path near the entrance as I rocket across the pavement, slip on the surface and belly flop right onto the pavement. Figuring my dog would be worried about my welfare, I look up to see where he is and he is more interested in peeing on a random bush then worried about why his daddy has just flopped to the ground. I was not feeling the love. I brushed myself off and briefly thought about walking home, but I got a second wind after my knee stopped bleeding and I went another mile. I was quite impressed with myself.

Feeling so butch from my adventurous jog with Zippy, I decided to brave CrossFit the next day again and quickly questioned my sanity. Why am I exercising to the point that I feel nauseous for hours afterwards? After I saw BF later that day and took my shirt off in front of him, I saw a weird look on his face and was wondering what he was thinking. Supposedly, even after one CrossFit session, I had new found muscle definition and essentially was told that I will be going back again. Hopefully I can find a workout partner because exercising alone to the point of exhaustion is a bit difficult, but if it turns my man on more, I guess it's all worth it. Maybe I'll just bring my mp3 player and blast Ms. Perry. Obviously that makes me lose any common sense for a moment. Until next time... TGG.