I was originally super excited for my new promotion, but recently the quality of clientele entering my hotel has been - well there is no other way to word it- simply douchey. And with my new position, which requires me to be the manager on duty, I have dealt with more douchebags than I care to deal with. Well, I care to deal with absolutely zero douchebags, but the douchebag to nice person ratio has recently gotten extremely out of control.
A few days ago, I had a particularly super douchey day at work. It started off well, but throughout the night, it just got progressively worse. The first douchebag sighting, or DS if you will, happened during happy hour. A woman wanted to give me her Corporate American Express to pay for a tab, but didn't want to start a tab. She wanted to wait until her friends arrived. I calmly explained to her that I could not pre-authorize a credit card for zero dollars and that I would have to hold on to it if she wanted to start a tab. This is when I got the first pretentious sigh from Queen McBitchy. Then, after attempting to start a tab with me, she proceeds to order drinks from my barback, who gets the order wrong and I don't deliver her high maintenance drinks to her immediately. Now the second sigh rolls upon me. Then she is ready to tab out and I am extremely busy, so I don't cash her out immediately and she comes up to me and says verbatim, "You need to get your shit together." I say absolutely nothing because I am in such shock that someone would have the nerve to talk to another human being like that. Oddly enough, she tipped me 20%. WTF?
That same night comes douchebag number two. I presume he has had a particularly bad day as he drank his Grey Goose Martini like a shot. He drank it so quickly in fact that I thought he had spilled it. I went and made him another martini and although he took slightly longer to drink that one, it still went pretty quick. He then told me that they were in bit of a hurry because they were going to see a show and needed a check. My foolish ass thought I would be nice and mention to him what I have heard about this show he was going to see since we get people in our restaurant who have seen that show all the time. "Just get us the check," he said, as he cut me off mid sentence.
Later on in the evening, there was douchebag number three. As the acting floor manager, I had to deal with an upset table in the dining room who was concerned about the amount of time it was taking for their 32oz steak to cook. I walked out to his table to get details of why he was upset and see how I could be of help. Instead, this man stands up and tells me if his meal isn't out in the next two minutes, he and his family are walking out.
New York might be an amazing city, but it's full of douchebags. I keep looking for new opportunities so that on my last day at Hotel Douchebag Central, I can finally have my Julia Sugarbaker moment. I dream of this day when yet another douchebag pisses me off and I go into a five minute speech. Until next time... TGG.
That same night comes douchebag number two. I presume he has had a particularly bad day as he drank his Grey Goose Martini like a shot. He drank it so quickly in fact that I thought he had spilled it. I went and made him another martini and although he took slightly longer to drink that one, it still went pretty quick. He then told me that they were in bit of a hurry because they were going to see a show and needed a check. My foolish ass thought I would be nice and mention to him what I have heard about this show he was going to see since we get people in our restaurant who have seen that show all the time. "Just get us the check," he said, as he cut me off mid sentence.
Later on in the evening, there was douchebag number three. As the acting floor manager, I had to deal with an upset table in the dining room who was concerned about the amount of time it was taking for their 32oz steak to cook. I walked out to his table to get details of why he was upset and see how I could be of help. Instead, this man stands up and tells me if his meal isn't out in the next two minutes, he and his family are walking out.
New York might be an amazing city, but it's full of douchebags. I keep looking for new opportunities so that on my last day at Hotel Douchebag Central, I can finally have my Julia Sugarbaker moment. I dream of this day when yet another douchebag pisses me off and I go into a five minute speech. Until next time... TGG.
